Doing 180's



Saturday

December 21, 2013


My co-workers in the office where I have been for the last six (!) months were in a jolly mood this week.

Friday gifts were exchanged—I didn’t know the protocol—and I received some lovely gifts…didn’t have anything to give. (Bad Form Caroline)

I must relate that I have been feeling rather ill-used lately; or completely unnecessary because of the menial work that has been delegated to me.

I am now a very overpaid filing clerk.

A co-worker, an R. N. who is recovering from an injury, was doing the same chart busywork. I had not taken the time to get to know her over the last months, not out of any negative feeling toward her, just feeling sorry for myself; too busy licking my wounds to notice any one else.

We were both gimping along with our canes--I have no idea what is wrong with my L leg, but walking has become a challenge—and I made some kind of stupid remark about two gimps that made her chuckle.

We started to talk.

                                    I lie like a rug; I started pummeling her with questions.

I am so nosy when bored…

You just don’t know what others are all about sometimes. Frequently.

This woman, I eventually find out, has a Doctorate in Education.

Did I feel stupid? I was feeling so ill-used with my BSN going to waste?

Oy vey.

She must have had a good sardonic laugh at my expense. Fine. I love to make people laugh.

I saw myself from her eyes…my own personal camera obscura.


Like peering into a rippling pool at my reflection—the same yet completely opposite, constantly changing and obscured by my own narrow, blind, unaware image of myself.

All right if I must—A 180.

The camera obscura was the first kind of camera.

Per Wickipedia:
The camera obscura is an optical devise that projects an image of its surroundings on a screen….The device consists of a box or room with a hole in one side. Light from an external scene passes through the hole and strikes a surface inside, where it is reproduced, rotated 180° (thus upside down), but with color and perspective preserved.

Interesting.

After a day of jumping into the horror of shopping at this time of year, I must say that the light of Christ isn’t shining through many of us.

We have an upside down picture of what the season of Christmas is all about. The beautiful, priceless gem of the gift of Jesus is obscured by the layers of Santa, elves, the “magic of Christmas” (don’t know what that means), material hunger; it’s like the ugly snow banks along the side of a road well traveled. After the pristine, white covering it becomes gray and dirty, riddled with mud and salt180° from where it began.

Gotta say that those of different faiths sure don’t lord their beliefs over the world….their Holy Days have remained Holy Days. I truly admire that.

I don't recall a mad sprint over trampled bodies to get that special sale price on that (whatever) during Ramadon or Rosh Hashanah.

I am sort of withdrawing from the commercial aspect of Christmas, at least this year. I would like the light of Christ to shine through me, but have to get myself out of the way first.

We have had a lot of experiences this year that have shown us what matters and the insanity that obscures, that turns us upside down, whirling and tumbling to empty material nothingness.

I want a Holy Day…not a holly, jolly one.

So in my favorite way of being politically incorrect, I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. I truly do. I don’t “wish” it for you. I hope for you and for all of us.

Until next…


Peace and love….

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