Swallowing Myself
Good evening,
Hope you are doing great.
I have read of a lot of people getting the DBS implants.
I have had them in for 1.5 years now.
Not sure if they do much for me. I am so rigid, that's my thing. My muscles get so tight from not being able to contract easily, subconsciously. There are medications to take for rigidity, but then I get the uncontrollable head bobble.
I am my very own bobble head!
In some videos--prior to the DBS procedure--I was a bobblin' fool!
Then the procedure.
Now I have no more bobbles.
But the thing is that you know that it bothers me sometimes, just knowing this thing is in my brain.
It has been a mercy though, because of the chronic pain. I cannot explain the pain associated with the old bobble. My neck and shoulders were always severely painful all day long. I never really noticed it until after the surgery when they weren't moving at all. (unless I wanted them to).
But it can only do so much.
And then the Parkinson's still is there, slowing pulling me deeper and deeper inside myself. My communication is getting more complex. For instance, my voice is very soft, making it very difficult to talk to my mom on the phone. DBS can't help that. As a matter of fact, I knew that it could make my voice even softer, and I went ahead with it anyway.
Typing is posing more of a challenge now.
Just forget a hand written note, unless you have time for me to have my (PD induced) tantrum and about three hours out of your day waiting for it.
(Let me know in advance!)
I fear for the day when I cannot speak or eat. I really don't want a feeding tube!
My body is slowly swallowing itself.
Until the next,
Peace and Love....
Hope you are doing great.
I have read of a lot of people getting the DBS implants.
I have had them in for 1.5 years now.
Not sure if they do much for me. I am so rigid, that's my thing. My muscles get so tight from not being able to contract easily, subconsciously. There are medications to take for rigidity, but then I get the uncontrollable head bobble.
I am my very own bobble head!
In some videos--prior to the DBS procedure--I was a bobblin' fool!
Then the procedure.
Now I have no more bobbles.
But the thing is that you know that it bothers me sometimes, just knowing this thing is in my brain.
It has been a mercy though, because of the chronic pain. I cannot explain the pain associated with the old bobble. My neck and shoulders were always severely painful all day long. I never really noticed it until after the surgery when they weren't moving at all. (unless I wanted them to).
But it can only do so much.
And then the Parkinson's still is there, slowing pulling me deeper and deeper inside myself. My communication is getting more complex. For instance, my voice is very soft, making it very difficult to talk to my mom on the phone. DBS can't help that. As a matter of fact, I knew that it could make my voice even softer, and I went ahead with it anyway.
Typing is posing more of a challenge now.
(Subliminal message here: Go to Amazon and purchase my book The House of Mourning The House of Mirth) (Oh my pen name is Rose Malet. I come by it honestly!)
Just forget a hand written note, unless you have time for me to have my (PD induced) tantrum and about three hours out of your day waiting for it.
(Let me know in advance!)
I fear for the day when I cannot speak or eat. I really don't want a feeding tube!
My body is slowly swallowing itself.
Until the next,
Peace and Love....
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